Shadowhunters | You Are Not Your Own | 2x12 | Review & Dicussion | Faith

This episode had a lot of great moments, however as always it had it's downfalls. While for the most part, I felt that the writer of this episode had a really good grip on the story---there was one moment in the show where it all shattered.

Let's start this review off with a positive note. Jace is no longer a Lightwood, Wayland, Morgernstern confused Shadowhunter. HE HAS A FAMILY and that family (if you've read the books you already know this) are the HERONDALES! I was so not expecting this revelation this early in the show, I certaintly was suprised that's for sure. I was squealing---actually squealing when his background was let out into the world. I wasn't really a fan of how it came out because I feel like using Valentine as a an information giver was good once. However despite that, there was this beautiful, beautiful moment between Imogen and Jace at the very end of the episode. She has this really heartfelt talk with him, and she gave him the Herondale ring and I was so close to tears in that moment. In that moment, I saw Jace---like book Jace. It was such a vulnerable scene and I believe it was done really well.

The acting in this episode was absolutley fantastic! I wasn't a fan of the freaky friday aspect of the episode, however I felt that it really brought out the strengths and abilities of Alan Van Sprang (Valentine) and Harry Shum Jr (Magnus). It was very interesting. I honestly did not know what to expect from this episode because these are real people---actors pretending to be their original character, pretending to be another character. It's areas of acting like this that can either make or break one's performance. When their minds were switched, I really did see Magnus in Valentine's body which was super disturbing in a way because it was Valentine. And I did see Valentine in Magnus's body which was more unsettling than anything else. Both of the actors did an amazing job portraying the different versions of pain the characters felt.

Now onto Clace. All I can say is wow, like their chemistry is on FIRE this season. That's all I'm going to say because now we are going to be moving on to the other point of the dumbest love triangle. 

Climon.

Listen, I love Climon but you know---as best friends. Not in love best friends---platonic no romantic chemistry what so ever Climon. And you know, the writers are really milking this whole love triangle and climon thing. I think it's supposed to be "building anticipation" within the audience but I honestly just think it's building annoyance because again, it's super obvious on who she is going to end up with. So Simon and Clary slept together. I'm mad. Not because of the whole virginity thing but because they're practically like siblings. BEFORE I CONTINUE, I'd like to point something out. Recently, I submitted a "confession" to a popular Shadowhunters account. It's a great place to see others opinions and what not so I decided to state my opinion on Climon. This is what it read.

"So supposedly according to the promo, Simon and Clary sleep together. I was not a fan, and so were many other people were upset because of one thing. VIRGINITY. I get why they're mad because of the books, I've read them I know what happens. But with how the show is, pretty sure Simons not a virgin, and I think they're playing it out that Clary isn't either. I still feel weird about them having sex but not for the sake of the books but because Simon and Clary are like siblings so it's weird to see them romantically linked like that."

Someone who seemed quite annoyed with my confession was just like (this is just an example) "THESE CLACE STANS ACTING LIKE THIS WHEN THEY SHIPPED CLACE IN THE BOOKS WHEN THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE SIBLINGS." I don't ship incest. Never have and I never will. I am a Clace shipper, and did ship it in City of Ashes but I knew they weren't siblings but also just because I wanted them as couple, it didn't mean I supported the incest aspect that was in City of Ashes.

Anyway, what makes me sad about this whole Climon thing is that as the audience and as a reader, I know that Climon isn't forever. They will eventually go back to being best friends, but how can you go back to being in a completely platonic friendship when you've been so intimate with someone physically and emotionally? I don't want to see the heartbreak of Climon because there shouldn't be any because there was an acceptance that it wasn't meant to be in the books. I also don't want to go through the awkwardness that comes from that. They're wasting so much time on this ship 98% of the Shadowhunters fans hate when we could be spending time on the development of the show, storyline and even other more liked and better ships.

Can we also just talk about how Clary has only been in the institute for like a couple of weeks and she can already face Jace in a fight without much struggle... #REALISM. I bet they're just gonna say it's due to her angel blood. 

Sebastian was absolutely brilliant in this episode. Will Tudor & Katherine McNamara have amazing chemistry. BEFORE SOME OF YOU FREAK OUT. Chemistry doesn't mean I ship people in the show, to be clear I do not ship Clary and Sebastian. Anyway, he's been in two episodes and he is already one of the most well rounded characters in the show. You can already tell he has so much depth and backstory and I am so looking forward to seeing where they take him on this show because I am loving it so far.

They're also planting the seeds for Sizzy. I am so ready for Sizzy.

You know what I wanna see more of in Shadowhunters, actual demon hunting. I feel like it's hyped up to be this demon hunting show but we only see them a) fight with eachother (shadowhunters) b) demons that look like people and c) downworlders. I wanna see like ACTUAL demons in their true form not masked ones. I'm only saying this because for a show thats about shadowhunters, there sure isn't a lot of demon hunting.

Those are all of my thoughts regarding this episode. 

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Reading for myself or for others? | Faith

Hello there, long time no post. Normally, I would try and come up with an excuse for this but I can't. School's been pretty chill and I'm nearing the end of my senior year so there's that. I've also been writing my book or right now I'm actually just revising it. Back to the topic of graduation, it hit me like a ton of bricks last week. I've been getting really, really excited for my grad--so excited that I'm actually quite giddy about it. I don't know, these past few months have been really awesome. Haven't had a bad day at school in such a long time--really amazing how cutting out the source of negativity in your life can impact it for the better within days. That's literally how I was and it's awesome. But I'm sure you don't care to hear about my personal things. Well--this is a little bit of a personal post, but it does relate to books, so if you're interested in hearing this please read on! 

I've kind of always been the kind of person who likes to say "It doesn't have to make you happy, it just has to make me happy," when it comes to my likes and interests. I know that people in my life judge me for certain things, I am a coin collector and the wizard of Oz merchandise who knows what else. I've been judged for popular series I love like the Hunger Games and those were areas I never let people get in the way of. Yet, there was one thing in my life that I did let others find their way into and that was my reading life. 

Reading has always, always been a huge part of my life and lately I haven't had the same passion and drive to read as I did as I did in Middle School. At first, I couldn't really put my finger on it, but one day I realized what it was. It's you. It's not me, it's you. What I mean by that is that it's YA readers like you. Everyone in the book community has an influence on what I read nowadays, and usually I'm only reading certain books because everyone else is reading them. When this happens, I tend to not really enjoy them because I'm just not that into overhyped books that everyone in the world is reading--I can be but recently I haven't. This honestly takes so much away from my reading my experience because I feel so much pressure to love the book because everyone else loved it.

Not only this, I would feel bad about not liking it---feel free to shame my 14 year old self because I wrote so many fake reviews.

It came to a point where I dreaded reading because I felt all this pressure to enjoy it--love it. All the books on my TBR were books everyone else was excited for. For the first time in months I found a book that I loved so much that I was so eager to find another book like that. I miss having that experience of that itch you need to scratch you know? It's such a happy and joyous feeling and I really miss that.

I've also had to come to some sort of acceptance. I had to accept that it's okay to really hate or not enjoy a certain book. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if someone doesn't like you because of you rating a book one star---they don't deserve to have you in their life haha.

This was just a short post to express my thoughts.

Tell me, are any of you like this as well?

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Shadowhunters | 2x11 | Review & Discussion | Faith

This was possibly the best episode of Shadowhunters. You know, I could totally just be reeling from the episode, so maybe I'll just say that it's one of the best episodes of Shadowhunters. There were various components of the episode, and it all fit together very well in my opinion.

One of the actors/characters that really stuck out to me this episode was Jace played by Dominic Sherwood. In the first season, it never really seemed like the show got who Jace really was as a character. In this season, both the writers and Dominic Sherwood are bringing Jace to life in an amazing way. He's cocky but you can still see his heart. These were elements of his character I felt were very lost in the first season. However, in this episode, his character really, really shined. We've come to a point with Jace where he's been suppressing all of these emotions for the sake of himself and other people for so long that he broke, and to see him break is super gripping and it made my heart drop.

You know what's a big but very dumb component of Shadowhunters. The love triangle. YES YES Love triangles still do exist in the world we live in, and it's oh so terrible. I will have you know that yes, I am a close fan, yes I might hate Climon but not because I'm #Clace. It's because Climon are best friends, and are practically like siblings. I think the reason why they hyped up Climon is because they really want it to be like WHO WILL CLARY CHOOSE? Honestly, it's so cringy to see them on screen together as a couple--it doesn't feel right. It honestly would've been so much more interesting to see Clary be with Simon for the sake of hiding her feelings for Jace. It honestly would've added so much more depth to the show and it would also make the whole relationship thing more interesting. Seeing Clary be with Simon and be torn between her feelings is SO, SO CLICHE. It's overused and it's been so played out on the show where it's annoying because it's so obvious who she's gonna choose. Like everyone knows. The showrunners have confirmed it without really saying it. Sissy is gonna happen guys--so that means class is gonna happen. I don't doubt that Clary is attracted to Simon but just because you're attracted to someone, it doesn't mean you are a good fit.

Sometimes, love triangles can be done well. In this case, not really because it's super teenagery. It gets old going back and forth when the audience clearly favours one side over the other. Having Clary with Simon for the entirety of the 2nd season would be so pointless, I want Climon but as best friends. It's come to a point where now that it's official that they're not siblings, the whole debacle with the love triangle is so dumb. There's no anticipation over whose she's gonna choose in the end. 

There are also fans out there who think she's gonna end up with Simon because they're straying so far from the books. While they do stray off, they stay true to the main plot points and relationships. Also, if Climon were to be endgame---do you actually realize how low the ratings would be? The Mortal Instruments fandom is crazy.

In the recent promos, it is shown that Clary sleeps with Simon. Now in promos, they can often show things that are not what they seem. I don't know if that's what they're doing with this promo but here are my opinions on the subject. So many fans are upset because of one thing, virginity. Losing one's virginity in TV shows and movies is very glamourized, it's always a very big deal--it was in the books. People are upset because they think that Clary loses it to Simon. Honestly, I don't think we should be upset because of the characters losing virginity because I'm pretty sure Simon and Clary aren't virgins in the show. For me, I am more upset because Climon is a beautiful friendship and having those two characters sleep together--when being so mentally in tune with one another--they're best friends, I don't think that they could come out of a relationship as easily as they did in the books which is very saddening to think about. Also, when they're together as a couple--it feels more incesty than it did with Clace.

On to the next topic. As I briefly mentioned in the beginning---this episode had a lot of great moments! This might sound strange but I really loved the scene where they were torturing Valentine with that Rune because it really just shows that he is literally just a Shadowhunter--a rogue one yes but he is still a Shadowhunter and is still vulnerable to things like torture runes.

Speaking of runes, Jace's angelic abilities were showcased in this episode and can I just say something--GOLD EYES.

A new character was introduced into the show and that was Sebastian Morgernstern! Oh my goodness I love him so, so much! I'm already starting to like his character but as the audience we can sort of tell that their is something off with his character. I can't wait to see what they do with his character, as well as see Will Tudors portrayal. 

Those were my main thoughts on the epiosde. There were more but they were just little side thoughts. I promise I'll go into more depth with the next episodes. Right now, I'm trying on focusing on creating as many posts as I can to post for all of you!

Thank you so much!

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My Experience with Vomiting | Writing My Book | Faith

Hello lovely people of the Internet. Yes you read that title correctly, today I'm going to be talking about my experience with vomiting---my first draft of my book. For the longest time I've been avoiding calling my story a book but 90,000 words later I've finally come to the conclusion that it's okay to call it a book. Before I get into the vomit that is my first draft, I'll give you a little backstory.

In the beginning of my "writing journey" I didn't really realize that, that was the path I was going to go on. It's interesting to look back now because there were seeds planted that have no grown into well--me? Anyway, I had this notebook that I brought with me where I would write all the stories I had come up with. This guy Ryan asked me "oh do you like writing?" and I immediately replied with a straight "no," which is hilarious to look back on now because look at me now! I had also written a Harry Potter script which was roughly 20 pages long---at the time that was a lot for me and yes I was very impressed with myself. So those were the first seeds that was planted, it wasn't until middle school did I blossom and by blossom I mean discover that I enjoyed writing.

There was this weekly writing project that we had to do in my English class, and one day an old friend of mine showed her story where she would submit sections or chapters every week making one whole story. I decided to copy her and I came up with my own story. What was that story about you may ask? A pop star. Yeah... That's not my proudest piece of work. Anyway, I discovered that I really loved writing this story and I would always be itching to write the next chapter/section. Now looking back it's hard to believe how my English teacher thought my story was good---and maybe the story was which I highly doubt. The entire format was out of place, grammar and punctuation was terrible and I used an excessive amount of exclamation points and question marks. So what made my teacher praise me for my work? I. HAVE. NO. IDEA. However, I will always be grateful to Ms. Cooper because without her I wouldn't be where I am today---in my writing journey I mean. You see, middle school wasn't the best for me and besides a few friends, discovering my love and passion for writing was one of the best things.

Onto grade 8, so for some reason my homeroom teacher/social studies/English teacher began to talk about books and how they require a lot of imagery and description etc. For some reason, this set me off with the need to write a book. Um---that was five years ago and after give years I can say that I've finished writing the first draft of my back originally titled, The Last Witch but then realized that made no sense to the story, then it became my protagonists name Sabrina and it remained that for five years until I remembered that I wanted it to be a series. Through a lot of thought I came up with the final (hopefully) title Mortal Hearts & Shadows which is the first book in a series.

Now let's talk about my experience with the vomit. I've always been told how emotionally tolling it is to write a book and I never believed them until I wrote my first draft. It was like I was on my period 24/7. One minute I'd be ecstatic over writing and the next I would be wanting to throw my computer against a wall which luckily I didn't do. Putting my thoughts on paper---my story on paper was so difficult because I had to write it knowing it wasn't perfect, and knowing that there were some real bad parts in it but I had to ignore it because you know---I had to keep vomiting the story out.

During this process I began distracting myself with a lot of things like creating spotify playlists for my book because "I would benefit from it in the future" which I sort of did, I also made A LOT of Pinterest boards for "inspiration" but really it was because it looked pretty and I was PROCASINATING. Why the procrastination? The answer to that is that I didn't want to go back into my first draft because it was so frustrating having it unfinished. There were also moments where I wanted to skip ahead and write parts I was excited for not the boring parts.

Vomiting was so annoying if I'm going to be honest. This is gonna sound so stupid and odd but it hurts knowing you have to write it, a lot of you may not understand what this means but it makes sense to me in my head.

Although writing the first draft was so incredibly difficult and took a very long time for me to write, it was so rewarding in the end to sit back and be like "I did that."

So that was my experience with vomit, what was yours like?

13 Reasons Why | Review & Discussion | Faith

WARNING: THIS REVIEW & DISCUSSION NOT ONLY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW 13 REASONS WHY, BUT I ALSO TALK ABOUT THE SERIOUS ISSUES SHOWCASED WITHIN THE SHOW SUCH AS SUICIDE, SELF-HARM, PHYSICAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL/MENTAL ABUSE AND RAPE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL BE AFFECTED BY THE TOPICS ABOUT TO BE DISCUSSED.

Before you read this, I'd like you to know that I haven't read the book. Usually when it comes to a book adaptation I would wait until I've had the time to sit down and read the book it's based off of. While I did want to do that first, I decided that it would probably be best if I pushed that aside and watched the show. Why? The reason is because this show is something more than just a popular show, it's an important message.

13 Reasons Why is probably one of the most if not one of the most---the most difficult show I have ever had to watch in my life. Most of the shows I watch are strictly for entertainment purposes and I the only reason why I decided to watch this show is because I knew that it dealt with various issues. There were two reasons why I felt this way, the first is that it showed everything in a very graphic and almost disturbing manor. The next reason is because I could relate to Hannah.

Relating to Hannah was not something I had expected to happen---I cried because I was brought back to a very sad part of my life which I've come so far from, but even though that is true it doesn't mean to say that the memories are gone, that the feelings are gone, that my anger and frustration and my sadness is gone. Those feelings will forever be linked to those memories even if I'm in a much better place in my life. It brought me to tears because I understood. There were many things she talked about like the way she was never able to look at certain people the same way, rumours being spread and everyone looking at you differently and also, I know what it's like to be hurt and embarrassed in public and have absolutely no one be there for you. Those moments where she was in pain felt so real and that made me think of myself. That was an area of the show that really showcased how you don't know how much someones words can affect someone---and that you really don't know what's going on in someones head.

Honestly, 13 Reasons Why is one of the most realistic depictions of being a teenager in my opinion. While I don't go out to parties and I'm not a wild child, I know what it's like to be in high school. In this show, there wasn't that much sugar on top, it delved deep. I feel like nowadays, high school is glamourized and I'm not here to say that this show isn't because it is in certain aspects. When you think of high school you think of the stereotypical high school. I saw my school in this show which is something that's never happened before. This show literally just shows how sick some people can be and how they can find humour in someones pain.

For example, there were phrases that certain characters said that I have definitely heard in my school. Phrases like "She just wants attention," "It was a joke," etc. etc. etc.

Lately, I've been hearing a lot of kids in my school raving about this show and it just made me think. Are they recommending it, raving over the show because they think it's good and it's popular? Or did they really get what the show was trying to say. The reason why I'm mentioning this is because they kids are talking about it with joy and happiness---and while happiness isn't a bad thing it confuses me how something that deals with a young girls suicide can be so uplifting like that. Also, the show is being romanticized into prom proposals which is a whole different story on it's own.

I am so glad that this show is getting recognition, that means the message is getting out there but it also means that it's not. There will always be people getting caught up in the attractiveness of the characters and how emotional the show is. What I mean by that is that, there's a difference between getting emotional and getting emotional. There is one side where people can be like "Oh it's SO SAD, like OMG I died. CLAY AND HANNAH ARE MY OTP AND THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN. I NEED A CLAY IN MY LFE." Then there's another side where it hits them in the pit of their stomach, and they truly, truly realize what the show is trying to say. The show is becoming mainstream, and it's getting to people but it's also turning into almost of a joke. I've seen memes of this show making fun of the tapes which I always see "It's a joke," but that's not the point.

The show is so incredibly gripping, and talks about serious issues that we continue to ignore. Bullying is such a large part of some peoples lives and it's often looked over. Physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are all talked about in the show. One of the forms of abuse that really got to me was rape. Two characters, Jessica and Hannah are taken advantage of and it's taken so lightly with the ones around them. It's always brushed off it felt like. The way it was depicted was very realistic in my opinion because we live in a cruel and confusing world that doesn't really handle rape well enough.

Now onto the show itself, I thought that it done pretty well. Each episode was close to an hour long and while it was very long I think the length of the episodes were needed in order to properly tell the story. I won't go into how it was compared to the book considering I haven't read the book but what I will say is that I imagine that both are great in their own ways despite their differences.

An issue that I've had with the show that always kind of nagged at me was the romance. I never had a problem with the relationship between Hannah and Clay, I was a fan. However, in a way it romanticized Hannah's struggles. The way I viewed it was that Hannah would've been "cured" if Clay allowed himself to love Hannah which was unsettling for me in a way. Clay would also always be saying that he killed Hannah because he was afraid to love her, and she would've been alive... Love is a beautiful thing but there are cases where love can't bring you out of the darkness and that's the only thing that I really disliked about the show, was the way they told the audience that everything would be okay if you just had someone to be your partner.

This is one of those shows where I do think that it's a great show, but there isn't really anything spectacular about it. If I were to recommend this I wouldn't say it's because it's a fantastic show I would say it's because it sends a very important message that needs to be heard. I think this is why this is more a discussion than anything else because there isn't anything that sticks out to me besides the messages that it holds.

Thirteen Reasons Why is very relatable---I could relate to it and so could many others. This is an aspect of the show that I feel to be very arguable. On one side of the table, it's not glamourized but there is also the other side where it can bring people back to a really dark time in their life---and it did that for me so I can see why lots of people are unhappy with the portrayal of certain scenes. Personally, I'm not one to hate on a show for those reasons---however I am aware of the controversy and will continue to take note of it if I ever decide to re-watch the show.

Overall, I would say that 13 Reasons Why is a great show. It's incredibly realistic which can be both a good and bad thing. However despite the controversy---it sends a message that everyone needs to hear.