My Experience with Vomiting | Writing My Book | Faith

Hello lovely people of the Internet. Yes you read that title correctly, today I'm going to be talking about my experience with vomiting---my first draft of my book. For the longest time I've been avoiding calling my story a book but 90,000 words later I've finally come to the conclusion that it's okay to call it a book. Before I get into the vomit that is my first draft, I'll give you a little backstory.

In the beginning of my "writing journey" I didn't really realize that, that was the path I was going to go on. It's interesting to look back now because there were seeds planted that have no grown into well--me? Anyway, I had this notebook that I brought with me where I would write all the stories I had come up with. This guy Ryan asked me "oh do you like writing?" and I immediately replied with a straight "no," which is hilarious to look back on now because look at me now! I had also written a Harry Potter script which was roughly 20 pages long---at the time that was a lot for me and yes I was very impressed with myself. So those were the first seeds that was planted, it wasn't until middle school did I blossom and by blossom I mean discover that I enjoyed writing.

There was this weekly writing project that we had to do in my English class, and one day an old friend of mine showed her story where she would submit sections or chapters every week making one whole story. I decided to copy her and I came up with my own story. What was that story about you may ask? A pop star. Yeah... That's not my proudest piece of work. Anyway, I discovered that I really loved writing this story and I would always be itching to write the next chapter/section. Now looking back it's hard to believe how my English teacher thought my story was good---and maybe the story was which I highly doubt. The entire format was out of place, grammar and punctuation was terrible and I used an excessive amount of exclamation points and question marks. So what made my teacher praise me for my work? I. HAVE. NO. IDEA. However, I will always be grateful to Ms. Cooper because without her I wouldn't be where I am today---in my writing journey I mean. You see, middle school wasn't the best for me and besides a few friends, discovering my love and passion for writing was one of the best things.

Onto grade 8, so for some reason my homeroom teacher/social studies/English teacher began to talk about books and how they require a lot of imagery and description etc. For some reason, this set me off with the need to write a book. Um---that was five years ago and after give years I can say that I've finished writing the first draft of my back originally titled, The Last Witch but then realized that made no sense to the story, then it became my protagonists name Sabrina and it remained that for five years until I remembered that I wanted it to be a series. Through a lot of thought I came up with the final (hopefully) title Mortal Hearts & Shadows which is the first book in a series.

Now let's talk about my experience with the vomit. I've always been told how emotionally tolling it is to write a book and I never believed them until I wrote my first draft. It was like I was on my period 24/7. One minute I'd be ecstatic over writing and the next I would be wanting to throw my computer against a wall which luckily I didn't do. Putting my thoughts on paper---my story on paper was so difficult because I had to write it knowing it wasn't perfect, and knowing that there were some real bad parts in it but I had to ignore it because you know---I had to keep vomiting the story out.

During this process I began distracting myself with a lot of things like creating spotify playlists for my book because "I would benefit from it in the future" which I sort of did, I also made A LOT of Pinterest boards for "inspiration" but really it was because it looked pretty and I was PROCASINATING. Why the procrastination? The answer to that is that I didn't want to go back into my first draft because it was so frustrating having it unfinished. There were also moments where I wanted to skip ahead and write parts I was excited for not the boring parts.

Vomiting was so annoying if I'm going to be honest. This is gonna sound so stupid and odd but it hurts knowing you have to write it, a lot of you may not understand what this means but it makes sense to me in my head.

Although writing the first draft was so incredibly difficult and took a very long time for me to write, it was so rewarding in the end to sit back and be like "I did that."

So that was my experience with vomit, what was yours like?

13 Reasons Why | Review & Discussion | Faith

WARNING: THIS REVIEW & DISCUSSION NOT ONLY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW 13 REASONS WHY, BUT I ALSO TALK ABOUT THE SERIOUS ISSUES SHOWCASED WITHIN THE SHOW SUCH AS SUICIDE, SELF-HARM, PHYSICAL ABUSE, EMOTIONAL/MENTAL ABUSE AND RAPE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU BELIEVE YOU WILL BE AFFECTED BY THE TOPICS ABOUT TO BE DISCUSSED.

Before you read this, I'd like you to know that I haven't read the book. Usually when it comes to a book adaptation I would wait until I've had the time to sit down and read the book it's based off of. While I did want to do that first, I decided that it would probably be best if I pushed that aside and watched the show. Why? The reason is because this show is something more than just a popular show, it's an important message.

13 Reasons Why is probably one of the most if not one of the most---the most difficult show I have ever had to watch in my life. Most of the shows I watch are strictly for entertainment purposes and I the only reason why I decided to watch this show is because I knew that it dealt with various issues. There were two reasons why I felt this way, the first is that it showed everything in a very graphic and almost disturbing manor. The next reason is because I could relate to Hannah.

Relating to Hannah was not something I had expected to happen---I cried because I was brought back to a very sad part of my life which I've come so far from, but even though that is true it doesn't mean to say that the memories are gone, that the feelings are gone, that my anger and frustration and my sadness is gone. Those feelings will forever be linked to those memories even if I'm in a much better place in my life. It brought me to tears because I understood. There were many things she talked about like the way she was never able to look at certain people the same way, rumours being spread and everyone looking at you differently and also, I know what it's like to be hurt and embarrassed in public and have absolutely no one be there for you. Those moments where she was in pain felt so real and that made me think of myself. That was an area of the show that really showcased how you don't know how much someones words can affect someone---and that you really don't know what's going on in someones head.

Honestly, 13 Reasons Why is one of the most realistic depictions of being a teenager in my opinion. While I don't go out to parties and I'm not a wild child, I know what it's like to be in high school. In this show, there wasn't that much sugar on top, it delved deep. I feel like nowadays, high school is glamourized and I'm not here to say that this show isn't because it is in certain aspects. When you think of high school you think of the stereotypical high school. I saw my school in this show which is something that's never happened before. This show literally just shows how sick some people can be and how they can find humour in someones pain.

For example, there were phrases that certain characters said that I have definitely heard in my school. Phrases like "She just wants attention," "It was a joke," etc. etc. etc.

Lately, I've been hearing a lot of kids in my school raving about this show and it just made me think. Are they recommending it, raving over the show because they think it's good and it's popular? Or did they really get what the show was trying to say. The reason why I'm mentioning this is because they kids are talking about it with joy and happiness---and while happiness isn't a bad thing it confuses me how something that deals with a young girls suicide can be so uplifting like that. Also, the show is being romanticized into prom proposals which is a whole different story on it's own.

I am so glad that this show is getting recognition, that means the message is getting out there but it also means that it's not. There will always be people getting caught up in the attractiveness of the characters and how emotional the show is. What I mean by that is that, there's a difference between getting emotional and getting emotional. There is one side where people can be like "Oh it's SO SAD, like OMG I died. CLAY AND HANNAH ARE MY OTP AND THAT CAN NEVER HAPPEN. I NEED A CLAY IN MY LFE." Then there's another side where it hits them in the pit of their stomach, and they truly, truly realize what the show is trying to say. The show is becoming mainstream, and it's getting to people but it's also turning into almost of a joke. I've seen memes of this show making fun of the tapes which I always see "It's a joke," but that's not the point.

The show is so incredibly gripping, and talks about serious issues that we continue to ignore. Bullying is such a large part of some peoples lives and it's often looked over. Physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are all talked about in the show. One of the forms of abuse that really got to me was rape. Two characters, Jessica and Hannah are taken advantage of and it's taken so lightly with the ones around them. It's always brushed off it felt like. The way it was depicted was very realistic in my opinion because we live in a cruel and confusing world that doesn't really handle rape well enough.

Now onto the show itself, I thought that it done pretty well. Each episode was close to an hour long and while it was very long I think the length of the episodes were needed in order to properly tell the story. I won't go into how it was compared to the book considering I haven't read the book but what I will say is that I imagine that both are great in their own ways despite their differences.

An issue that I've had with the show that always kind of nagged at me was the romance. I never had a problem with the relationship between Hannah and Clay, I was a fan. However, in a way it romanticized Hannah's struggles. The way I viewed it was that Hannah would've been "cured" if Clay allowed himself to love Hannah which was unsettling for me in a way. Clay would also always be saying that he killed Hannah because he was afraid to love her, and she would've been alive... Love is a beautiful thing but there are cases where love can't bring you out of the darkness and that's the only thing that I really disliked about the show, was the way they told the audience that everything would be okay if you just had someone to be your partner.

This is one of those shows where I do think that it's a great show, but there isn't really anything spectacular about it. If I were to recommend this I wouldn't say it's because it's a fantastic show I would say it's because it sends a very important message that needs to be heard. I think this is why this is more a discussion than anything else because there isn't anything that sticks out to me besides the messages that it holds.

Thirteen Reasons Why is very relatable---I could relate to it and so could many others. This is an aspect of the show that I feel to be very arguable. On one side of the table, it's not glamourized but there is also the other side where it can bring people back to a really dark time in their life---and it did that for me so I can see why lots of people are unhappy with the portrayal of certain scenes. Personally, I'm not one to hate on a show for those reasons---however I am aware of the controversy and will continue to take note of it if I ever decide to re-watch the show.

Overall, I would say that 13 Reasons Why is a great show. It's incredibly realistic which can be both a good and bad thing. However despite the controversy---it sends a message that everyone needs to hear.

Shadowhunters | By the Light of Dawn | 2x10 | Review & Discussion | Faith

THE MIDSEASON FINALE OF SHADOWHUNTERS AIRED ON TUESDAY AND MAY I JUST SAY THAT THIS WAS THE BEST EPISODE YET.

This was probably the first episode of Shadowhunters where I had very few problems with the events that occurred in the episode---like WHAT? Although, what I will say is that it's so hard keeping in my giddiness from non-book fans of Shadowhunters. I want to so badly to be like "SIMON STILL A VAMPIRE BUT HE IS NOW A DAYLIGHTER," but I can't because they haven't revealed that and non-book fans wouldn't know what that is... I'm also restricting going "READ. THE. BOOKS."

There were so many amazing things that happened, and I think one of the reasons on why I'm so excited over this particular episode is because things from the book were showcased in this episode, and those were things I didn't think we would be seeing at all in Shadowhunters if I'm going to be honest with those of you who are reading this.

Alright, so from the very moment Jace and Clary were revealed to be "siblings," I had been itching to see the moment it was revealed that they weren't. AND---I was so not disappointed. Yes, very different from the book, but what matters is that they included an aspect that's so important in the story and episode. To be honest, I was not expecting it to be revealed to soon---I mean only Jace knows but still. There were so many great moments in the show that were leading and hinting to the true nature of the two and it all flowed together really well.

The first moment we see of Jace is when he touched the soul/mortal sword. Most people are probably expecting it to be destroyed because of the whole demon blood thing but NOPPEEE. Throughout this entire scene, I had this HUGE grin on my face because I knew what was going to happen. Jace was going to activate the sword revealing that he too had angel blood. 

I thought that the whole backstory behind this was very interesting. It was all part of Valentines plan or maybe back up plan. It was just super clever because he knew that Clary would most likely refuse to activate the sword, leaving Jace to destroy it and he knew HE KNEW that Jace would sacrifice himself for the down world. Honestly, in that moment I was just so impressed with how that plot was developed and how it was pieced together.

Those plots/sub plots are the kinds of plots I want to see from Shadowhunters---Not stupid shapeshifting rune ones!

The aftermath of that scene really reminded me a little bit of The Infernal Devices in the sense that Jace wants to tell Clary the truth but he sees her happy with Simon. It hurt my heart to see Jace in that sense of mind, and he was so hopeful to. Thinking about it is tugging at my heart. I freaking love Dominic Sherwood as Jace.

Another concern that some book fans have been worried about is the Seelie Court scene as this was confirmed to be in season 2B.  I thought about it, and I think that scene is going to be a sort of revealing scene if you know what I mean. Clary will still be with Simon, and Jace is still keeping the secret of them not being siblings. The Seelie Queen will be like "Kiss the one you most desire," and Jace is gonna be like "Oh it's totally SIMON," Simon and Clary will kiss but it won't work. Then, it will be revealed that it's Jace and Jace will be all like "WHATTT?" and during all of this, Clary still thinks they're siblings and this will reveal that Clary still has feelings for Jace despite what she believes. And this will reignite the fire that's inside of Jace.

Shadowhunters has this trend of wanting to surprise book fans and while that usually never works, I still was on the edge of my seat. However, whenever a major/main characters life was threatened I knew they'd be okay so they never go me there. Yet there were still moments where my jaw did drop just because of the way things were put together which I believe to be a very good thing.

Like, it's not a coincidence that Maia, Luke, Simon and Meliorn didn't die from the blast. It's not a coincidence that Meliorn got slashed by a rogue Shadowhunter. You get me? Those characters still have a purpose and role in the show, therefore they cannot die.

An interesting trait or aspect of a character was revealed in this episode, very briefly but this was another thing I never thought they'd mention in the show. And honestly, Shadowhunters has been doing a pretty decent job with including things that aren't typically and regularly discussed in the fandom. The revelation that was made was Raphael's asexuality. Emeraude Toubia revealed that there would be a sexuality that has never been talked about on the show, so I'm assuming it's Raphaels. When this was revealed, it was like a boulder had been dropped within me. I was so, so shocked---it hit me like a ton of bricks I was like WOW. For me, as a book reader, his sexuality was always a very important aspect of his character in my opinion and I love how they incorporated it in the show and kind of broke the stigma that asexual people cannot have romantic feelings for others. However, I will say that the whole "Rizzy" relationship is a little sexualized at the moment and I'm not the biggest fan because of Isabelle's addiction.

Since Sebastian is coming in, in the second half of the season I'm a little concerned for Max and not in the way you might think. We've barely spent enough time with Max to really form that emotional connection to him. And in my opinion, every single time we've seen him he's been very cute but unlikeable. Although he is a minor character, he still needs depth and his character is currently lacking that at the moment. We've barely seen anything memorable about his character, while Max in the book did have those memorable traits even though we only saw him for a very short period of time. 

The reason why I'm bringing this up is become of a young warlock child named Madzie. We've seen Madzie in maybe three episodes, and I've already become so attached to her. And yet she's barely spoken... The reason why I care for her is not only is she so adorable, it's the fact that she has motive, she's so lost and innocent yet so incredibly powerful. And all of the other characters interactions with her make me want to care for her, we get the feeling that she shouldn't be involved in this. So if she were to die in the next episode, I would most definitely be impacted.

Just a side note, I wouldn't be mad if Madzie was the warlock child Magnus and Alec adopted. 

With Max, we need to be spending so much more time with him and getting the sense and his place in the Lightwood family as well as the institute. Where are his comic books? You know how much more depth would be given to him? Because right now, he's kinda annoying because he absorbs way too much from his parents. I only mention this before we are going to see him die very soon. And I'm not saying that I will not be impacted by his death whatsoever because I'm sure I will, but the fact is that I get this feeling that his death is going to be played out just as big as Jocelyns. And right now, we are not seeing enough of his character to get that major impact we should be having when he does eventually pass.

ALEC SAID I LOVE YOU TO MAGNUS. I literally jumped out of happiness when I heard those words come out of their mouths. It was done so well, and wasn't cheesy in any shape or form. It fit the moment really well, and I could really feel the love between them and I couldn't be happier for Malec.

Clary in this episode really felt like book Clary for me, in my opinion. All of her actions felt very true to her character in the books, you know we saw her bravery and her stubbornness which was so nice to see.

Maia is a character that I love more and more with each and every episode she appears. You can really tell that she has this really dense and intense backstory, and it is a story that I am so looking forward to seeing as the actress who portrays her is so incredibly amazing with playing Maia.

Not long ago, there was a theory going around that Aldertree is Sebastian which wouldn't really make sense considering Sebastian was a disguise for Jonathan and----um... With this episode, I can't help but believe that theory even MORE. They're really trying to play out Aldertree as this good and trust worthy character, but they are still building that suspicion... Honestly, if they use the same plot twist as last season many fans will be so pissed---myself included.

Alright, so Simon to become day lighter Simon he needed to drink Jaces blood and for a second I thought it was gonna be Clary which I was fine with considering she has angel blood too. I don't really know how vital and important the shapeshifting rune was in that particular moment, it honestly felt a little out of place because we didn't really get a sense of the teams plan before going into the institute. It was weird, however I was very happy with the fact that it was Jace's blood and not Clary's. Not really for any other reason than it's accurate to the books.

That was the last moment (or one of them at least) we saw in this episode, it was Simon in the sun! There were so many little scenes in this episode that put a huge grin on my face because it reminded me of the book and I truly felt like I was watching the characters come to life in front of my eyes.

Those were all go my thoughts on the winter finale of Shadowhunters, I'd love to know what you think! To me, this was the best episode out of the two seasons!

I hope you enjoyed reading this review!

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Shadowhunters | Bound by Blood | 2x09 | Review & Discussion | Faith

We are so close to the winter finale of Shadowhunters, and this episode I felt was very solid and had some great things in at as well as some things that weren't as fantastic. There were a lot of high points of this episode however, like always there were points where I couldn't help but disagree with the decisions that were made.

The first thing I would like to discuss is Izzy's addiction to Yin Fen. Yin Fen is something very powerful in the books, highly addictive and it had the ability to kill you. They completley downgraded Yin Fen to simply be vampire venom which is something I was a little disappointed with. They could've taken Isabelle on this really painful journey but instead turned it into some sort of weird romantic and sexual relationship between her and Rafael. It isn't really the romantic relationship between the two that I have a problem with, it's the way they're portraying addiction.

I think Emma, from EmmaBooks describes it perfectly and would highly suggest you go and check out her review and discussion of this weeks episode on Youtube.

The next aspect of the show I would like to discuss is Climon. I've never really been a fan of their romantic relationship, the only reason why I'm happy that it's happening is that it's one step closer to Clace. It's really nice how they're portraying it on screen, it's very cute and it's clear that the two of them do care a lot for one another but at the end of the day, it's weird. 

Something that's been bothering a lot of Shadowhunters fans is that Jace is clearly not over Clary, and supposedly Clary isn't either. Yet while her feelings still lingers, she's completely wound up with Simon and my opinion on that is that she's using Simon as a distraction (which she does in the books) because it hurts less to push someone or something away and pretend it doesn't exist.

So the whole premise of this episode is Clary's blood oath, and to be honest the thought of Clary dying did not really scare me considering she's one of the main characters. It didn't scare or surprise me in any shape or form, but it was really fun to watch the journey of undoing the blood oath.

A scene in this episode that really made an impact on me was the scene between Clary, Jace and Simon. So in this scene, Clary is asking Simon to kill her if she gets in the hands of Valentine and Simon being Simon, he doesn't want to but then---JACE. Jace promises Clary, and while the promise was very dark to me it showed how much Jace knew and loved Clary to understand what something like that meant. 

Madzie is one of the cutest little warlocks I have ever seen. I honestly just love her story arc in the show as of right now and she's barely in the show. It just amazes me how she's so little and has all of this power. And all of her interactions with Valentine were excellent.

Alan Van Sprang, as always DELIVERS A FANTASTIC PERFORMANCE! That's all I'm going to say because I'm sure if you're a watcher of the show, you know how sinister and perfect his portrayal of Valentine is.

So Valentine took Simon in this episode. That was the very last thing we saw in this episode, and I can definitely see how they're pulling things from City of Ashes. I hope this means that we're going to see day lighter Simon!

Those were all of my thoughts on this weeks episode! 

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February Favourites/Obsessions | Faith

So recently, I've been discovering a lot of things that I have been starting to enjoy a lot! I feel like it's very random but when have my favourites ever revolved around one thing? Let's get on with the post! 

So the first thing that I've been liking recently is FIFTH HARMONY. I was never really a fan of Fifth Harmony and for some reason was always strictly Little Mix. And despite me not listening to them, I never really had anything against them. So after Camilla left, I just started listening to the 7/27 album and found myself really enjoying the music. This was something I never expected to happen but did, and I still don't know if I would consider myself a fan. As of right now, I enjoy listening to their music and will continue to do so.

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The next person is Ivy Levan, maybe you've heard of her maybe you haven't. I didn't really know of her until the remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show aired and I heard her voice and was like "WOW". I randomly started listening to Science Fiction/Double Feature and that eventually led me to her Spotify page. Not really knowing if I was going to enjoy her music or not I selected one of the songs and found that I loved her music. There's something very unique about her voice that I really, really love and her voice matched with her music is just AHH---it's so good!

I highly suggest you go check out her music, it's so, so fantastic!

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Caraval was the one and only book I read in the month of February and BOY did I LOVE THIS BOOK! I honestly didn't really expect to love this book as much as I did. I have written a review on this book, so if you want to know all of my thoughts in full detail, you can go and check that out HERE!

Anyway, if you're thinking of picking this book and up and are skeptical, don't be! Honestly, go into it without reading any reviews are anything, because I believe that's the best way to experience the book. To just dive in and fully experience the story and it's world yourself without any influence.

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The first in this category is Riverdale, maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. Anyway, it's a new hit show that's been airing on the CW, and if you didn't know already it's based off of the characters from the Archie Comics. You know, when you hear Archie comics you quite literally think of the comics so when you see what the show has to offer, you might be a little---surprised.

Riverdale has a very unique and almost supernatural take on the comics, and is quite dark when you compare the original to the adaptation. However, it's done so well. 

I will admit that when I first saw the trailer for the series I thought that it looks so stupid. I mean, there was so much angst and it looked super cheesy. One day, I saw that it popped up on Netflix, and thinking that it would be bad I watched and I was so blown away and now I cannot get enough of it.

Alright, so having an obsession and love for Superman I'm bound to love his cousin, Supergirl and I did love her from the pilot episode---not even like before the show even aired I was obsessed with the show. So from season 1, I have loved the show---I love all of the DC shows that are currently airing on the CW and very much believe that they are doing a wonderful job compared to the DC movies.

Anyway, for some reason season 2 is just so much better compared to the first season. I feel like there's a much better flow to the season and nothing is feeling forced (while some may disagree.) And in my opinion, the writers are doing an excellent job at writing these scripts. They real know how to tug at your emotions it's CRAZY.

THOSE WERE ALL MY FAVOURITES THIS MONTH! 

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